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Know Why People Tolerate FAMILY CHRISTMAS DRAMA?

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The reason many of us tolerate our family “crazies”, especially during the holidays, is for two main reasons: 

1.   A SENSE OF LOYALTY

2.   GUILT

Ahhh….I remember those feelings when family loyalty and feelings of guilt dictated that I had to spend Christmas with my dysfunctional family.  If you just spent your holidays doing the exact same thing, then go easy on yourself.  Many people feel the exact same sense of loyalty and carry around the same harmful guilt whenever they have the desire to disassociate or say, “NO!” to family functions or family members.

If the words, “I have to, I’m expected to, or I feel obligated to” were the reason behind you choosing to tolerate your negative family this Christmas, then you were a victim of family/society loyalty!

 Family- and Society-Based Loyalty

Our families teach us to be loyal with deep-rooted beliefs such as “Blood is thicker than water.”  The media also contributes to this belief by constantly reminding us where are loyalties should lie.  We are constantly inundated with social messaging, consciously and unconsciously, implying where our obligations should be with celebrations such as Christmas, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and Family Day.  Traditional holidays constantly encourage “family togetherness”.

However, if this was true, why do so many people feel so unhappy and would rather be alone during the holidays then with the people who are supposed to love them?  ….feelings of guilt!

 Guilt

guiltAs a result of this social brainwashing, many people are convinced that there must be something wrong with them because they do not feel truly loved by their families, of if they no longer agree with the family beliefs they grew up with.  Unfortunately, because they feel guilty if they were to disassociate, especially during a family-oriented holiday such as Christmas, many people feel they have no other choice but to conform to their families’ and society’s expectations of them – regardless of the way they feel.

If your head remains louder than your heart, you will continue to allow your dysfunctional family to rob you of a peaceful authentic life.  However, if your heart is getting louder then your head, I can show you how to create that life.

“Change your Beliefs = Change your Results”

 

The 3 essential steps to healing your life are:

  1. Become Aware of what or who makes you unhappy
  2. Develop the desire to Change or remove negative obstacles or people that cause you pain.
  3. Learn to Create new beliefs to live your authentic life.

Make 2015 your year – create the life you deserve!

As we all know, New Years is notorious for making new plans, changes and promises to ourselves in the hopes of creating a healthier and happier life.  This “social belief” is one I actually like.  Why?  Because most people would not initiate healthy change into their lives – until they get sick!

This year, keep your promises to yourself!  Do not break your own rules and compromise your self-esteem any further.  Otherwise, you will lose more respect for yourself and fear will continue to control you by anxiety, depression or suicidal thoughts.

If you’re ready to change your life, I am here to help you overcome your anxiety and teach you how to take your personal power back!  Imagine your life circled around people you actually like – family or otherwise, creating your own family rituals that you actually enjoy, imagine being the type of parent you wished you had for your own children or going to a job you are passionate about.

 Dear friend, ultimately, your happiness boils down to one decision.  Will you disappoint your family or will you continue to disappoint yourself?  Whichever you choose, be happy with your decision.  But If you are not happy, then don’t you think it’s time you did something about your situation?

  

Next F.D.A. Support Group Meeting:  Tuesday, January 27, 2015 @ 7-9pm

 

 

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7 Reasons Why You ARE NOT Emotionally Ready for Parenthood! ( 23 Oct,2014 )
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Fifteen Years Post-Divorce And He Can Still Push My Buttons ( 14 Sep,2016 )
2 Comments
  • Came across this site as I am trying to work out why my family is so vile, they backstab, drag up peoples pasts, stick there nose into every ones business, twist things to suit themselves. My nephew as he doesnt have a good relationship with his mother is trying to come between myself and my son by telling lies and saying things that my son has said it is very hurtful I know I need to distance myself but feel sorry for my son as I feel they have used him to have their fun.

    • Hi Jeremy, Thank you for sharing. I understand how frustrating it can be…believe me! Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you with your situation.

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